Senin, 19 Agustus 2013

Man's Search For Meaning - I've got a confession to make...

She was the darling of the family: cooked really well, could give any model a run for her money and more than anything else, she was very close to my hubby. I hated her like the ‘other woman’ in my man’s life. I hated her for being the ‘be all and end all’ of my hubby. I hated her and I hated God for not making me like her.

In fact, we shared the same roof for six long years, but I could never ever share a word with her. But after reading this book, I don’t know what, but something changed within me; and I decided to seek atonement for my past sins. (That is after nine long years, seriously it took me that long to reconcile with her.) Today, I am glad that I share a friendly relationship with her. But, what if I had never came across this book? Would I’ve remained the same ruthless person, who could not stand the sight of her sis-in-law? Whose only mission was to snatch away the only brother from a loving sister? I simply can’t fathom that situation now.

Today, I experience peace within myself. One soul-searching line from this book that helped me change my unforgiving mindset forever was: “Live as you were living for the second time. Present is past and the past can be amended.” I was jealous and felt guilty about it at the same time, but I was not ready to forgive her for being the ‘spotlight’ of the family. This book made me do what I thought was almost impossible for me to do: seek atonement.

No wonder the book is popular. And its popularity made me browse it in a jiffy. I had first time seen this book in the hands of a priest during my higher secondary years. Since then, the name and the author of this book have stayed with me. I knew one day I’ll read this book. And, today I am glad, that is after 17 years long years, I did manage to get hold of this book. Have read it twice now, but still feel the need to read it a couple of times more, so as to fully grasp the wealth wisdom dealt in this book at length.

Victor Frankl, the author and the protagonist of this book, is a holocaust survivor. He is both a neurologist and psychiatrist, who survived the atrocities of the Auschwitz camp bravely. I don’t think Auschwitz camp needs an introduction here, or does it? Where the weak were gassed daily; where abeled bodied people were treated like animals and made to work day and night; where inmates had nothing to cover their frozen bodies, except a shred of cloth and over-tight shoes; where sick were treated like the dead and left to die; where the rare-spirited ones were fed on few slices of bread and thin soup, where sleep was a luxury; but Frankl survived, despite all odds. And he did not survive alone; he also ensured that inmates around him also made adequate efforts to survive.

Now, what kept him alive, when he knew that his whole family had been taken as captives by the Nazis and were probably gassed? His why of life? His mission to pen a book on logotherapy, which would help thousands of miserable souls find meaning in their lives? His conviction: that a person who has a why in life will survive anyhow. Frankl believed that no matter what the circumstances of a person are, he has this infallible capacity beat the odds and emerge successful, as he proved during his lifetime. Nothing, but his life validates his belief and research. A must read for those seeking WHY in their lives.

Some thoughtful quotes that will stay with me forever:
1] The more one forgets himself, the more he actualizes himself.
2] No one has right to do wrong even if wrong has been done to them.
3] Turn your personal tragedies into triumph.
4] Suffer proudly not miserably.
5] Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It’s finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.
6] An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.
7] Dostoevsky once said “There’s only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.
8] If one cannot change his situation that causes suffering, he can still choose his attitude.
9] At any moment, man must decide, for better or for worse, what will be the monument of his existence.
10] Suffering is an ineradicable part of human life. Without suffering and death, human life will not be complete.
11] In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.
12] There are situations in which one is cut off from the opportunity to do one’s work or to enjoy one’s life; but what can not be ruled out is the unavoidability of suffering. In accepting this challenge to suffer bravely, life has a meaning up to the last moment, and it retains the meaning literally to the end.
13] Man is not fully conditioned or determined but rather determines himself whether he gives into conditions or stands up to them. In other words, man is self-determining.
14] Suffer proudly; not miserably.
15] Nietzsche’s words: ‘ He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how’.


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